In Five Year's Time

Mural on a building on Belgrave Road in Leicester

I spent the weekend in Leicester with my friend Megan (who die hard readers will remember was the person who first encouraged me to start a blog).  One of the (many) things we discussed was our generation's seemingly constant dissatisfaction with our progress in life - careers, relationships, achievements, and the unhelpful comparisons we all seem to make between ourselves and our peers.

It's a well worn theory and one that my friends and I talk about a lot but, especially in this age when it's far less likely that we'll all have 40+ year careers in one job, and now that creative agency, unique talent and business nous is especially valued (who are you really if you haven't founded a not-for-profit ethical toiletries company whilst also designing conceptual dance shows in your spare time?) It seems that, no matter how well we are all doing really, we can't seem to stop to smell the roses.

Feeling dissatisfied with your lot, even if you have, comparatively, everything you really need is a privileged, middle-class preoccupation. Not only do I wish that my talented, hard working, clever friends could realise how much they've already achieved but I also think we could do with a wake up call.

To even have jobs, places to live, enough to eat, an education, family support etc. makes us incredibly lucky to start with. Of course it's OK to aspire for better, set goals, prioritise our happiness and go after dreams (and also to have periods of uncertainty and feeling low), but I think we waste a lot of time and energy in constantly wanting what our friends have, rather than focusing on what it is we really want from our lives.

Easier said than done, but I think that if we commit to doing the 'work' and really plot out what will truly make us happy and fulfilled,we could stop worrying about whether our friends have started their own businesses, our cousins have got a puppy or our siblings have bought a brand new Audi. Also, it's horrid to feel like you're not entirely happy for your friends' success because of your own hang ups, and palpable for your friends when your reaction is less than enthusiastic! So let's do it for ourselves, and our friends!

I found an old notebook from 2015 this morning with an exercise in it about visualising your best possible self. The exercise was to select a future time period and image that, at that time, you are living your best life. It's about creating a logical structure for the future which helps you to imagine real, concrete possibilities (this exercise was from The Good Life Foundation which I am now struggling to find to link to. I don't think it's the top result on Google which is a charity set up by the band OneRepublic, but it could be!).

I imagined myself in 5 year's time. I wrote 'I'm 30' and underlined it. It is quite strange to read it now, the five years I imagined having elapsed, and here I am at 30! I wrote:

• I have a loving, supportive, happy partner who shares their dreams with me.
• We have planned to or I am pregnant with first baby.
• I have been travelling again with my friends or partner.
• I have bought a house that I love in a place that I love and decorated it as I like.
• I work as a project manager for a charity or consult for charities on a freelance basis - in a role that directly benefits others.

To be honest, I am quite blown away at finding this piece of paper. I am living the life my 25 year old self wished for me. I didn't realise quite how directive or focused I was on reaching the goals I have now 'achieved', or how powerful it has been over the years to keep journals and to literally write out the future I want for myself. 

I've been getting much too caught up on not currently being employed, and letting it affect my confidence and outlook. But of course life is much more than work and seeing this notebook today has helped me to regain a sense that I am creating a life that feels true to me, and that I'm not competing with anyone else on this journey.