I LOVE MY BODY...and why that is a rebellious feminist statement

There is a cultural assumption that all womxn hate their bodies, and most especially when they're pregnant. Read any article about the physical changes of pregnancy and the negative connotations are everywhere. Even articles revealing (the shocking truth that) partners of pregnant people often find their pregnant bodies more attractive than ever, are shot through with quotes like 'I told my wife she got more beautiful every day but did she believe me? Of course not, she's a woman!" (charming, I'm sure).

Type 'I love my body' into Google and hundreds of articles titled 'how to love your body' come up. Apparently we have to learn to tolerate our bodies, however hard that is. That will, of course, be true for a lot of people, but when it's impossible to find any points of view from people who simply love their bodies it starts to make you feel like you SHOULD have a problem loving yourself (that's how the patriarchy keeps us down, folks!).

I've heard countless conversations with womxn on podcasts, in articles and IRL whose attempts to admit they like themselves are muffled by the amount of humble pie they have to eat. It's the age old ritual of womxn talking themselves down to try not to appear conceited (the ultimate sin). It often feels impossible to just come out and say that, in fact, you love your body and always have done. What!? You're allowed to admit that? How can you say that when so many people have life long body issues? How rude of you.

I am not down playing the insidious, seeping, odious implications of the objectification of womxn in our society. I know that this is internalised and causes body and self-image issues (and worse) en masse, and is especially potent for people who don't fit the binary or the standard, are disabled or are people of colour. But I think the continuation of the narrative that womxn OBVIOUSLY all hate their bodies, and starting all conversations and theories from this place of insecurity and negativity, is helping to continue the patriarchal dialogue. We can't admit to thinking we are the damn finest creatures to ever walk the earth for fear of being cast as an uppity, big headed nightmare. I believe it's internalised misogyny that makes us scared to holler our own successes from the rooftops, and that which causes womxn to shout other womxn down if they admit to liking their bodies. 

We are more easily controlled and manipulated when we feel insecure, and are too distracted by what we look like to concentrate on the Good Fight. The powers that be know this. It is an act of rebellion, and even revolution, to see through the lies our society is feeding us and LOVE OURSELVES (and tell others we do, and that they should too).

We hear womxn saying they've learnt to love their bodies because they've brought children into the world, love them for everything they went through during pregnancy. That's really powerful and special for those people. But what about all the others who loved their bodies before children, and think they're even more awesome now? Or those who don't want children and start to think their bodies are lesser for not going through that process? Heaven forbid we come to our senses long enough to remember that we are more than just baby-making machines and that it's possible to praise and be in awe of our bodies for things other than this function.

I've said it before and I'll say it again - online forums are the ultimate pits of evil. Unfortunately I do sometimes sneak a look at them and the number of people talking about 'getting back into shape' after their babies are born, in particular to 'attract' their partners 'again', is soul meltingly depressing (oh yep, we are primarily baby-making machines but we best not look as though we ever grew a baby in case it impedes our other function as sex objects). I don't really need to say that our partners should love our shapes and size no matter what, and if they don't they can sling their hooks. However, it's not so easy when your partner is now a parent to your new kid. Staying together takes on more layers of importance than ever and the very real worry that your partner might stop being attracted to you feels very threatening. BUT that doesn't mean YOU have to change anything about yourself!

I LOVE MY BODY. I did before being pregnant, and I do now. Saying it feels like throwing down the gauntlet, and it really shouldn't. None of us our totally free of society's expectations but admitting to loving ourselves shouldn't make us feel vulnerable, or as if we're going to upset people or get into a fight! In fact, we should feel even more inspired to do so because it surely will help to right the balance of being told we are not good enough by our culture. The more people who feel they can say it loud and proud should, as it will add a positive angle to the usually negative narrative and set an example for womxn and men alike. Hopefully this will mean that it becomes less taboo to simply admit that we love ourselves, and get us out from under the thumb of the patriarchy. Win, win and win.